tuesday as in two days to go.

i have now uploaded all my footage onto i - movie. i dont really like most of the footage the stuff i do like dosent move i think the element of stillness really works with the idea of memory
but i still hate all t he footage so i will just have to work with what i have got being as i have a non exsistant amount of time to change my mind or my idea.
but i know already without being totally defeatist that i am not going to like the outcome.

week five .. argh scary times my friends

yep so here we are in the final and oh so stressfull strecth . im very tired this week.

ive began and prettymcuh completed filming as was my plan thus my skecth book seems abit out of date , but i can fix that once ive iuploaded my footage onto the computers at school (then i can take screen caps and annotate them i think as i edit)

in reflection his week has been okay but not as succesfulla s i wouldve liked .

but . and its bad to say , i feel alot of people are in a similar kind of lost and stressed position as me and that makes me feel alot better.

we had a crit with dave on tuesday , i came in to sort out some things .
as i had kind of made the decison to not come ina nd just film all week. the probelm is what i seem to be doing is not focusing , im kind of filmign two ideas (the ones i have previosuly talked about) and im kind of just seeing which one pans out okay. or which one has enough footage for me to cut like three minutes of fucking anything out of .

the crit was good , i was one of the only people to really give any feedabck or agin any feedback , people were helpful to my problems , dave seemd concerned that i had not had enought ime to teach myself about i movie but everyone (ie staff) tend to forget i made a two minute filma the beginning of the year all edited on i movie all by my self and thus im less panicked.

although saying that i am panicked very panicked . im not as organise as i would like to be and i feel as mucha s my skecth book is really full it is slipping somewhat and i dont like taht .

reflecting over the last six weeks (in prepartion for my dreaded assesment essay) i feel i could have been alot more organised , i can tell already the last four days of next week are going to kill me .i still have some things i really really want to film but im re considering bacause i really think i should plow on with editing. so i keep trying to make thses decsions and do whats best .

i suppose i have struggled t find certain things to film, again another thing i shoudl have been way more organised about as i had spoken to my tutor about all this last week and we made an actioan paln and i felt really happy and sorted but then its like , half of it just hasnt materialised . im really disappointed in my self for that.

jades to do list for the last four days ..(of school)

1. complete filming entirely.
2.upload footage onto computer , some how secure the computer so no one else uses it thus losing the fil .
3, cut footage as described in sketch book.
4.add subtitles.
5.sound.
6.burn onto disk .
7,. create cover for disk in line with rest of prject.
8. gather together the bits of work that arent in sketch book(photos that are on display on wall) bind them together .
9. finish evaluation.print 2 copies.
10. re hand in section four.
11. pay fines and give in library books.
12.get blue folder checked.
13. find a way of letting the examiner know that my blog is here and not on paper.
14. tidy up my space .

i dont know why

my dates are in thw wrong order so week one is nt whre it should be .. sorry.

oh and in adavnce apologies ofr swearing and spelling mistakes.

another week ... week four

went to the exhibition at south london gallery .
its kind of ecletic . may be a bit too much so .
the work on first glance seems very nice , kind off coloured and conceptual and interesting , a few pieces really struck me. a lighht piece for example and a painting about deteriation. two massive squares painted on a certain fabric type material and mounted onto the wall , the idea was that it is a film , a moving image piece because iover time the piece would deteriate thus altering and changing the image so it becomes moviing , i quite liked this.

work hasd been abit meh lately , if im being honest on this thing(which im not sure if i should be being but hey . whatever) i need toreally kick my slef up the arse at this point . majorley.
i mean im getting a bit sick of certain things , i feel like alot of us are getting alot of nagging from varoius places but there nagging thouse of us that come in everyday as opposed to thsoe who turn up at like three pm and then leave at four - makes no sense!

but i have a really bad habit of balming other people and this wave of lathergasism is really my fault , i dont know why it is , im quite frustrated because i feel like theres no point in going through with anything , i feel as though whatever ill do itll just go wrong.

al the sam eive been pressing on . watching alot of short films , one dvd in part icular has been uselfull and id recommend it to anyone really , its called cinema 16 and its british shorts.
one i think may really work in the same way ive kind of been thinking about this film.

at first i got really into the idea of makign a stop frame animation useing found objects and self taken pictures and my won photos etc , but now im thinking about shifting the focus onto object.

looking over my work this week i could have been really alot more productive.

but i feel this idea has some cloaut , im just scared itll be boring.
this film , ell it was a series of letters and a voice over , explainging the letter and story around it , i like the way teh text is just filmed so theyve actually just filmed a letter you cans ee the handwriting and the paper lines and all this and its still amusing bacuse you actually ahve to LISTEN to what the anrrators saying , as a postal exchange happens the view shifts to various letters (its simple cuts) i like this idea , and in my sketch book ive been working on it and trying to work it into the story boards i already constrcuted,

it also seems more freasable time wise. at this point i dont really wnat to stress my self out ,i kind of want to make life easy for my self.

and im sytarting to attempt my final evaluation, which is bound to be a disator , my ideas have totally changed from thebeginning of the term!

week three

ohh exciting ! south london gallerys new exhibition focuses around memory!i plan to go when i can .

i did find time this week to go and see the gilbert and george exhibition at the tate modern .
it is a bloody massive exhibtion , fuck me i was there soooo looong and i dint even realsie it but eighteen rooms jees!

i had that fancy i - pody thing the tae gives you if you pay them money , i would not usually bother but i must admit i was quite impressed by the whole thing, i learnt quite alot of things that i wouldnt have realised .. let me enlighten you with some facts before i go on to my project.

1. gilbert and george say they like to always represent men in there work (none of there work hasa women in it) not because they feel men are superier or anything but to re dress the balance in art (somethign the guerilla girls will be pleased about)
as in, in gallerys there are tonnes of pictures subjectifying the female form and they want to re dress this in their won little way .

2. in some pictures there are these odd close ups of whta seem to be at first organic matter ,almost like snow flakes but in fact these are microscopic close ups of sperm and piss .
seriosuly they amke the stuff look beautiful .

3. gilbert and george like gin.alot.

the exhibaition was curated well with a nice cafe plonked in the middle , i was disapointed that alot of their perfromance work and film work was over looked (but thats just coz i like that kind of stuff really ..)i much prefer there earlier work to their more recent stuff , this is for merely aestetic reason , i feel the voice running throughout there work and the themes running through out have remained string and always up to date , gilbert and george may seem like old fuddy duddys in suits but in actual fact i think theyve still got there button well and truly on the pulse . this may be coz they live in the ultra arty east of london obviosuly and the mix of cultures there really seems to inspire them and terrorsim is a strong theme in tehir recent work,, other themes have included aids and my personal fave drinking. a theme of which one day soon i plan to fully explore for my self (dare i say im setting my self a summer project)

any way speaking of projects... this week has been a total disastor.

my sculpture idea os something i planned on running with .

my tutor alexis seemed happy enough but then another tutor came over and totally ripped me to pieces and me , being the only child adolescent that i am didnt take very well to taht and kind of ran away .

im still kind of settled on this whole idea about moving and still .

and ive completed my narrative so im ahppy ina few respects .

im really starting to feel the pressure of time now though witha ll thsi mention of tidying spaces and hanging work and all this stuff.
i do not do wel under pressure really , i get all desperate for 'the right' idea , the perfect idea all this bollocks.

in other news i took more photos , and yes i did develop them my slef but only half a dozen came out! again i was gutted .

i develloped them anyway , i kind of worked on soe things alexis talked about in her little phography adavanced talk , i blurred edges ona few so they looked more like the person or the memory was disappearing , i developed some of the pictures at different times so half the picture is fully well developed and the other is half developed alot more faded etc. im kind of happy with this . hmm .

next week my plans mainly involve panicking.

week two

so were in week two , thanks again for the comments they have been most useful!

ive juts been dirthering along really i guess..

had an unfortunacy my film didnt develop! i developed it my self and i think i mustve gone wrong soemwhere along the lines with the chemicals bacause that little line at the top of the film strip with some writing on it hadnt developed properly either so im quite sure its not the cameras problem.

yeah so taht was avery disapponting morning.

looking over my sketch book im wuite happy with the level of prep im producing , dave assesed me earlier in the year and he suggested that i use a smaller sketchbook because im a really note takingy kind of person if that makes sense ? i have ideas and i kind of jot them down , im not like paula i dont think in shapes more, im not sure circumstances perhaps?? i think im abit defeatest about my idea as well , i wish i had chosen some of the topics other people had ,, fociusing on things like fear and what not i think its all really interesting , but i guess that me just thinking the grass is always greener on the otherside?

my question for today was ... what are the simple joys in life? i thought this what quite a good question when considering memory beacause generally the things we love doing have really great memorys attached, and tahts particially why we like doing them .

you see im trying to kind of narrow down the memorys i want to think about for my fianl piece.


its harder than i anticipated , this i feel may be because if my age , evidentally i have memorys but i have not experinced anywhere near enough anything really - i been looking at sophie calle alot this week (note to self to take book back to the libarary) i really love her work . her ideas are quite simple but really well constructed and thus , effective ....any opinions there??

she has quite an important piece centred aroud memory , its an image text piece of work, that what it is really , a piece of narrative and a correlating phot. waht makes the piece work in my opinion is how its produced , the pictures (as i can see them in this book) are very very large and varied there is a picture tht is of a letter that really interests me (by letter i mean the kind you send someone) i may take a role of film of some love letters i have been sent(although i might chicken out of actullay developing them my self)

i was thinking about polaroids alot today asa way of illustrating a narrative(we all know how much i love my polaroid!) but anytway its broken so i kind of took it apart abit and the films when theres no picture on them are this really deep shade of brown , and well , you know how classically the whole point of a polaroid is that you get to write down the date and maybe a little sentence at the bottom to describe the picture? i thought i might use this idea to write a bot of narrative on and then havea series like a little book. the blank films are like blank memorys or memories that do not even exsist yet and i really like that.

ive also been thinkin about slide film quite alot .

i was thinking about making lil sculptures that could illustrate moments ?

then taking pics of them all on slide film and then record the slide film going over all thses moments the on i movie i could add music and a voice. its kind of a play on the whole idea that a film should move by keeping an element still , like a slide film so its moving but its still .... a bit like memeory.

oh and my narrative writing is going well

ive been interviewing myself! tres fun.

final major project blog ... hello!

hello !
and welcome to my blog! itll only exsist for six weeks and its only here for me to a) vent my concerns about my final major project
b) to pass my foundation.
c) to give other people the opportunity to comment on my ideas and progress and to ofcourse help me out!
so read away happy internet user , fellow student or examiner have fun!

week one - and so the project begins!

i speak to you now at the end of the first week of my final major project, to clear up afew things , its about memorie - im interested in using film or photography and its essentially a narrative project .

ive been reading some interesting texts as offered by fellow student gethan , oliver sacks is proving interesting as is the echo maker .

ive also been reading a book from the library , 'the science of memory' those of you in the drawing group will have noticed my head in a copy.im finding parts of it almost philosophical (maybe abit odd as it is a very very science heavy book)
threes parts that talk about the idea that maybe we never ever actually forget anything and we have enough brain space as it were to hold everything , other theorys revolve around the idea that we have a survival based brain so we only rememeber things we NEED to know to survive , obviosuly survivng now is aloyt different to surving in the caveman times , so our brains have developed and evolved with us , theres a really interesting bit about how memory shapes us , i am really interested in thinking about taht statement .i think its really important , the idea that memory makes us who we are and thus if we lost our memory we would loose ourselves as we and people around us know us.

practically speaking i have been writing alot , thinking philosophising and curating ideas , im considering writing a piece of performance or making a film.i think when thinkigna bout memory its quite important to think kinetically .

also ive began shooting my first reel of balck and white film which i plan to develeop nextweek
see how that goes .

some of you wouldve seen my work from over the hols? lots of burning and bleaching of photos i like this , but ima lready sort of bored so im thinking of moving on from this.